Monthly Archives: May 2013

Find the yes.

I am not an overly optimistic person.  I am pragmatic and rational.  But I am a firm believer in the value of finding the “yes.”

I do not say “yes” because it’s easy or because it’s always possible.  I say “yes” because I believe good followers need to be able to find the “yes” in what their leader is asking.  Let me be clear:  I do not think good leaders need “yes men” in the traditional sense of the phrase.  Emperors need to know when they are naked!  It is not loving nor following well to allow our leaders to be blindsided or shamed or fail because we neglected to muster the courage to speak truth.  HOWEVER, I do believe that finding the yes communicates a number of important things:

“Yes” publicly affirms our leaders.

“Yes” acknowledges your position as a man or woman under authority.

“Yes” creates a culture of humility and hard work on your team.

“Yes” demonstrates loyalty and honor.
Romans 12.10 says “love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.”
What better way to demonstrate honor than finding a way to do what is being asked of you?

As a follower, I always want to be able to find the yes for my leaders.

As a leader, I greatly value those on my team who are able to be resourceful and creative enough to find me the yes.  More often than not when someone on my team tells me “no” it isn’t because they can’t do what is being asked.  It isn’t even out of defiance or pride or stubbornness.  It’s almost always because they either aren’t trying or thinking hard enough.

It doesn’t take much discernment or intelligence to find the problems or list the challenges in any given situation.  Anyone and everyone does that.  People who can identify the problem AND execute a solution?  Those people are invaluable to me.  They are the ones I want in every meeting with me, the ones I put more weight down on, the ones I look to invest in and develop.

For those of you who are more like me- that is, off the charts in SENSING on a Myers Briggs and nowhere near INTUITIVE- and are working for a dreamer, big picture visionary, which many ministry leaders and pastors are,  it is critical to be able to find the yes.  Dreamers do not appreciate your wet blanket or excuses or Eeyore spirit.  They might be able to understand your hesitation or concern IF you can communicate those things with honor AND if you can create an alternate path to the same destination.  Those who can find the “yes” more often than not prove themselves trustworthy and capable.  So when they need to come back with a “Plan B” for consideration because “Plan A” isn’t going to work, good leaders will listen.

Finding the yes doesn’t mean throwing caution and discernment to the wind.  It certainly doesn’t mean violating your conscience.  What it does mean is effort, investment, and ingenuity.

Find the yes for your leaders because the time will come when you will be counting on others to be able to find it for you.

Rebecca Kathryn

…or Kate as the world knows her.

She is my sister-in-law, my husband’s little sister.  (Incidentally, it’s pretty great when you marry an amazing man who comes with an incredible family who loves you like their own!)

Truthfully, I started this post to push through some writer’s block.  Kate has always been an “emotional portal” of sorts for me.  You see, I’m not an overly emotional person.  I’ve been asked before if I ever cry.  I’ve been likened to a robot and had my heart compared to that of a cow.  Clearly, I’m not very sentimental.

There are many times when I desperately need to “lose it” and can’t.  When I know I’d feel better to ugly Oprah cry for a few minutes.  When I need to feel awake or alive or you know, human.  Whenever I’m really stuck, I can think about Kate and it takes no time at all for my rusty tear ducts to get to work, for the words and inspiration and feeling and life to come back.

My first memory of Kate was in the den of her parents’ home in Columbus, GA.  She was reenacting some scene from Drop Dead Gorgeous.  She was just as silly and beautiful and fun when I met her at 16  as she is now.  I don’t know anyone else like her.  She is this rare breed of fun and spontaneity mixed with thoughtfulness and sensitivity.  She is sassy and passionate as the day is long, but she is the most tenderhearted and loyal friend you could hope for.

I turned 33 a few weeks ago.  Kate surprised me with a birthday cake made from scratch.  If you don’t know her you can’t possibly appreciate that sentence.  This is the girl who just a few years ago had to call her friend to ask how to make boxed mac n’ cheese.  It’s like THAT.  She made me a two-layer homemade cake with homemade icing, y’all!  It was the sweetest and messiest gift ever.  As I sat across the kitchen table eating cake and laughing with her, my heart was full.

Kate is most known for 2 things:  dancing and laughing.  She’s been dancing for 20+ years and any time I see her on (or off) stage dancing, my heart leaps.  She’s a Rouse, so she’s been laughing from birth, I feel certain.  That laugh is unmistakeable and infectious!  It melts away self-consciousness instantaneously.

She’s one of the only people I’ve never tired of.  I’m always happy to see her and always sad to see her go.

Seems to be a bottomless ocean of love I have for that girl…even if she does keep me waiting and is always dressed better than me.

She makes me better.  She makes me grateful for life in all its beauty and complexities.  She’s one I could never do without.

______________________________

Who is home to you?
Who is your “emotional portal”?
Who brings light with them on your darkest of days?
Who are the people in your life that make you feel alive?
Who are the ones who make you want to be more yourself than you’d ever dare to be otherwise?

Those are your Kates.  There can’t be many.  Probably just a handful.

In fact, one is enough to make the poorest soul rich.

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